THE GROUCHY TIKI GOD of PINEAPPLE ISLAND
(Congratulations!!  You've found the secret page!)

One must demonstrate good character in many ways to receive a
grammatically correct massage from the Pineapple Mermaid Princess of
Pineapple Island.

In the picture below, she is holding the dreaded, grouchy, jeweled (of
course!) Tiki god, who keeps 3 poisonous, stinging sea urchins in his
mouth.  

In order to receive your first Pineapple Island massage, you will need to
prove your bravery to the Tiki god by reaching in & grabbing any one of
the 3 sea urchins.  Then you must bring it out where the Tiki god can see
you squeeze it, which causes the sea urchin to blink & change colors.  

Although it is scary, very few have died from doing this procedure.  Aloe
vera gel will be available to help soothe your stinging, blistering hands.

May good fortune be with you!